There’s a popular trend making its rounds on social media that has caused some uproar and has many people, mainly Millennial's and Gen Z’ers, questioning their views on self-worth and many other meaningful priorities that dictates the trajectory of one's life. The interesting notion of becoming the “main character of your life” to become more confident in yourself, and everything it will take for you to become one. The advice that is being given, mostly by other Millennials and Gen Zer’s, on these popular social media platforms advise people to dress eccentrically like the main character would. You must do intricate makeup and have exciting activities that make you feel like the fictitious main character in a movie or tv show to be interesting. However, is that all it really takes? Why is it only skin deep?
If you find yourself becoming more invested as to what else it may take to become the main character of your own life you would begin to scroll through the associated hashtags on Instagram, Tiktok, or watch videos on YouTube. to become more confident in yourself, and everything it will take for you to become one. The advice that is being given, mostly by other Millennials and Gen Zer’s, on these popular social media platforms advise people to dress eccentrically like the main character would. To also do intricate makeup and have exciting activities that make you feel like the fictitious main character in a movie or tv show. However, is that all it really takes, and if so, why is it only skin deep?
FOMO Mongering
These changes and improvements that are being advertised to you and many others as a way to make life more enjoyable and bearable are just smoke and mirrors. A lot of these influencers actually just play into the FOMO that you and many other people experience after seeing others doing interesting things online. Believing if you could do it too then it would make you happier and more interesting as well. If becoming the main character is supposed to encourage people to be more confident with themselves, why is most of the information being given so surface level? People are more than just their physical appearance. Why focus on advising people to invest so much of their money into changing their looks and wardrobe to fit into a certain aesthetic or category? Instead, shouldn’t the focus be on finding a wardrobe and hobbies that undeniably makes them feel most like themselves. The advice should be urging their audience to find things that are unique to them so that they can feel validated by it. Breaking bank on trendy clothing won't do that.
Be Careful Its Mostly Smoke and Mirrors
It’s not very hard to see that the underlying root of all the advice being given to a majority of young people online is to adapt this lifestyle not because it will make you more self-assured of your own autonomy. But because it gives the illusion that you do. It’s easier to look cooler and look like the lovable main character without putting in the hard work to create a better mindset and find your own identity. Of course, it’s not all terrible advice there is actually some really positive advice hidden beneath all the superficial tips floating around online. However, without careful consideration of whether or not the advice is actually meaningful to you, you will find yourself feeling even more lost than you were before you tried to become more like the main character.
Are You Ready For a Closeup?
You would find copious amounts of people with perfectly done hair and beautiful makeup doing very frivolous activities; complex picnic setups, get dressed up and go to fancy art galleries with your large friend group, have high end dining experiences, maybe even go to a local hipster coffee shop order a latte with foam art and have a croissant to top it off. That’s how you live a life that is worthy of being a main character. These tips may seem great and helpful especially if you are a young adult at a place in your life where you wish you were doing more of the things that you see being displayed constantly in the media. However, these poorly framed pieces of advice have no real substance to it because it has no purposeful meaning. They suggest people do these activities but with no real concern for why and how it should be viable to them. A better way to make this advice meaningful to someone would be to explain to them how to find hobbies that make them feel most inspired, creative, and comfortable with themselves. To also tell them that it’s okay if your idea of a good time doesn’t look like someone else's as long as you are truly enjoying yourself, because it is the most important part about finding your own unique interest and identity.
Unrealistic Standards
The advice to always look your best no matter the situation whether you're: home alone, going to work, hanging out with friends etc. is actually quite harmful and stressful to one's self esteem. It implies that if you aren’t made up then you aren’t that esteemed main character you’ve pedestalized. You may start to feel like it's not very “main character” of you to not want to put on makeup to cover up your natural blemishes. Rather than being a human being that is worthy of love and compassion you start to see yourself as a character that must fit into this perfect mold. That is simply not a reality. There are going to be times when you're tired, lazy, or simply uninterested in putting in all of this energy to be the best version of yourself. It's natural for your skin to break out or for your hair to be messy and not want to fix it immediately to achieve a state of perfection. It is entirely valid to want to rest and be as you are in the moment.
Repackaged Self Love Jargon
Taking charge of one's own life and being more autonomous and aligned with your goals is great. We all should put a valiant effort into creating the life we wish to live. However, the main character narrative is the antithesis of everything it makes itself out to be. Once you remove the gimmicky aspects of it it's like the same basic self-love rhetoric, we’ve all heard a million times over. Only now it's being packaged as something new and exciting. At its core it's isolating, alienating, and self-idolizing once it's all been stripped down. Ultimately this mindset encourages behaviors that are very performative and have little to no substance to change you for the better as it proclaims. If you are to become your own main character, the next question is, who is your audience? Who are you performing for? Are you really doing all these things for yourself or is it for the recognition of your peers or family?
You're Not the Center of Attention
Instead of pulling bits and pieces from these fake characters, Millennials and Gen Xers have taken it to an extreme and have made it their entire identity to be the center of attention. Everything now revolves around them and now the people in their lives: friends, family, co-workers, and romantic interests become background characters only there to be used for their advantage and convenience. Like many other fictional movies or tv shows, main characters use side characters in their story for personal growth. This is the real world though. People aren’t there only to be used for when it's convenient to your plot development. Who wants to be around someone who pedestalizes their own experiences and beliefs above their own? Merely there as a plot device just because you've decided you are the main character. More thoughtful advice would be to validate people for prioritizing their mental health first and understand that it is okay to put yourself first. To make sure that you let people in your life know that they are cared for, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. To communicate how you feel so that they can better understand you. However, it’s not okay to look at people as background characters, as they are just as real as you are. They have their own lives; one that does not revolve around you.
That's A Wrap
The main character narrative is simply a place to arrive at, not a destination to stay for the rest of your life. Escapism is great for films and is used for the audience to be entertained however, this is real life. If you would rather become the fictional main character than a real person that doesn’t need to have a perfect movie screen worthy life, then you will surely find the role you’re playing to be a very lonely one. This ideology of life has a very toxic positivity undertone that enforces people to think they must always look great, be happy, and excited for every moment of their life which just isn't practical. Life is not a movie, and you are not the main character, and that's ok.
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